This trend of pieces entirely comprised of lists (called “listicles,” for some reason we can’t understand and needn’t investigate), has become overwhelming for me as a reader. Lists are meant to be the opposite of overwhelming. They’re meant to be a simple, efficient way to learn things and digest assimilated information. And they are all those things.
But they make me feel dumb, and I don’t like feeling dumb. So I’m done with lists. I’m making a Fall resolution to no longer read any lists.
No more “13 reasons your life is The Golden Girls.” No more “51 of the creepiest unsolved mysteries.” No more “17 pictures of animals who want to go to sleep.”
Nope. I’m done.
I’m not even clicking on “19 inspirational quotes you need to hear” or “The top 20 treehouse designs in the ENTIRE WORLD,” though that last one will be difficult to resist.
Nope, nope, nope. I’m done being catered to like my life will not be the same without knowing the ten similarities between me and Rue McClanahan. (Like I don’t already know.) My Tuesday probably won’t actually get any better after looking through a photo montage of the cutest orangutans or discovering eight little-known facts about the Eiffel Tower.
It’s not like my attention span has lengthened. My journal entries are almost completely comprised of bullet points and incomplete sentences, and my favorite things to read by Nietzsche are his notes, even if they aren’t representative of his expansive philosophies. I still look at the word length and estimated reading time on Longreads and shudder sometimes (and then feel ashamed). Still, this resolution:
Difficulty level: 7