1) “I knew this was a post by ___________ the moment I clicked on it, I knew I’d love it, and it has even surpassed my expectations.”

2) “I knew this was a post by ___________ the moment I clicked on it, I knew I’d hate it but read it anyway, for some reason, and it’s worse than I could have possibly imagined.”

3) “This kind of crap is published on ThoughtCatalog now? Jesus, talk about lowering standards.”

4) “YES. This is exactly what I come to ThoughtCatalog for. Thank you.”

5) “Story of my life.”

6) “Hey, [author], can we get married? I think you’re my soulmate.”

7) “Wow, way to actually just totally copy [insert somewhat obscure cultural reference].”

8) “This is just what I needed right now.” (both sarcastic and not)

9) “You have no right to say what you’ve just said. You’re no better than whatever you’re bitching about. You’re privileged and wrong.”

10) Buried near the end of the long list, a small and insignificant-looking intelligent rebuttal or reinforcement of the article, perhaps even with an outside source or two.